


a so-called improvement that makes things worse

by Zekkass



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Celebratory Kiss, M/M, Post-Movie(s), Protective Hulk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-08 11:18:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zekkass/pseuds/Zekkass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Irritated by too many close calls, the Hulk takes to inspecting Tony after battle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a so-called improvement that makes things worse

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Лучшее — враг хорошего](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10435155) by [Savarna_Scaramouche](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Savarna_Scaramouche/pseuds/Savarna_Scaramouche)



> Written for trope_bingo over at dreamwidth and to cope with the influx of Bruce and Hulk feelings I had today.

The Hulk has caught him - Tony dangles from his grip without fighting, gives the Hulk a little wave.

"Hi there, big guy," he says, and the Hulk grunts at him, sitting in the middle of what used to be a building. Tony can hear chatter in his ear from the team, questions if he's okay - he tells JARVIS to cut it. His attention is on the Hulk right now, all eight and a half feet of him. The Hulk's huge, really, he fits his name, but more importantly: from this close Tony can look at him, at his expressions, see him in detail.

It's really Bruce in there. Even if the eyes are green, even if he whuffs at Tony and gives him a little shake.

"Whoa, whoa there - " Tony protests, because hello, he is human, he is _fragile_ as much as he hates to admit it. "Don't break me, buddy. You're not going to break me. Right?"

"Hulk fix," says the Hulk with a grin, all teeth, and that's not reassuring at all.

"Or you could not break me in the _first_ place, that's a better idea." Tony would wave his arms at the Hulk, maybe get a little distance. Yes, he trusts Bruce. No, he's not afraid right now. There is still a suspiciously Pepper-like voice in the back of his mind telling him how easy it would be for the Hulk to give him a firm shaking and there goes his spine.

Hulk whuffs again, laying Tony out on his palm, peering at him as if he's something to be studied. Tony doesn't mind that at all, even likes the idea that there's a scientist in the Hulk, and he means more than the literal, that yes inside the Hulk is Bruce, is someone he's been trying very hard to befriend.

The Hulk works a giant finger over the armor, as gentle as he can be and even still Tony feels the pressure. If the armor weren't so sturdy, it'd dent under this probing exploration, and even so Tony wants to make it over again, make it stronger. He's been working on it, at home, when he hasn't been fielding the press or the Avengers or everything else that he has to do in his day, and he has to force something to give sooner or later so he can spend a week on dedicated armor design.

"Hulk open."

"Wait, no!" Tony is brought to focus by that terrifying prospect. "Hulk, _no_ open! If you want me out of the armor I can get out myself."

"Okay." Hulk opens his hand so his palm is flat, and well great. He's looking expectant, and he's lucky that Tony likes him, trusts him far enough to awkwardly stand up and have the armor open itself up so he can step out of it.

"Better?" Tony asks, rolling his shoulders and looking up at the Hulk. He's going to get a crick in his neck from looking up so much.

"Better," says the Hulk, and he picks up Tony with his other hand, lifts him up and peers at him. "Puny human."

"I pack a mean punch in my armor," Tony says, hanging onto the Hulk's thumb.

"Like Hulk."

"You've seen me fight," Tony says, unable to hide the fascination from his voice. Even the Hulk's nails look like Bruce's, even if they're green, huge, and in some cases damaged from all the punches the Hulk throws.

Hulk holds him closer, peering at him again, and hey, Tony has to ask: "Are you angry right now?"

"Yes." It's a low rumble, and the Hulk bares his teeth. It's not a grin this time. "Hulk angry. Tin Man puny like Banner, act like Hulk. Tin Man break." He shakes his hand, a quick up and down motion and Tony almost feels queasy after it. "Tin Man stupid."

"Tin Man genius, actually."

"No. Stupid." The Hulk sniffs at him, then drops him on his palm again. "Tin Man go home."

Is he being _benched_?

"Tin Man go home," the Hulk repeats, as if Tony's a particularly slow listener. "Go home and heal. Stupid Tin Man not invincible like Hulk."

"Are you worried about me?"

The Hulk growls at him and curls his fingers slightly, as if he'll close his palm and crush Tony with his armor. Tony's not sure what to make of it, but he gets into the armor.

"Tin Man _not_ Hulk," the Hulk tells him as the face-plate closes. "Hulk strong. Invincible. Tin Man tiny. Puny."

"I heard you the first time," Tony says. "See you at the tower," he says, and takes off. This time Hulk doesn't snatch him from the sky.

\--

"You could ask me to join you," Tony says conversationally, dangling from Hulk's hand again as he bounds to a quiet pile of rubble to sit in. What it is with the Hulk and rubble Tony doesn't know, but here they are again.

"Hulk angry at Tin Man," Hulk tells him, and isn't it just _reassuring_ to hear that while the Hulk's holding him like an action figure.

"What'd I do this time?" Tony asks. If it's about being here in the first place, they're going to have to have a serious talk about how Iron Man is an important part of the team and if he hadn't been here Hawkeye wouldn't have his head right now.

"Tin Man hurt," Hulk says, lifting him up to sniff at the armor. "Tin Man go home. _Stay_ home."

"I'm not hurt this time," Tony says, squirming so he can at least hang onto the Hulk's fingers, even if he's still being held. "At most I'm bruised. It's not as effective as your ridiculously resistent skin," he raps his knuckles on the armor, produces a 'clang!', "But this is armor."

"Hulk smell blood."

"Okay, okay, how about this. If I - If Tin Man flies home and cleans up and bandages up whatever's bleeding, will you stop being angry?"

"Hulk always angry," Hulk rumbles, turning Tony over in his hand. It would be scary how easy it is for the Hulk to move him, but Tony's calm. If the Hulk wanted to hurt him, he'd know. Oh, he'd know.

He's pretty sure he's not bleeding right now, but then again it wasn't an easy fight, and he's planning to go home and wash off, so maybe he is. Maybe a bruise split, maybe...

"Let me know when you're done," Tony says, hanging upside down in the Hulk's hold.

"Hulk break armor," the Hulk says, flipping Tony right-side up and standing up. "Then Tin Man always stay home."

"Wait wait, what, _no_! Don't break the armor!"

"Tin Man stop coming," Hulk snarls at him. "Tin Man stop breaking!"

"I'm not broken!"

"Tin Man not Hulk!"

"Obviously!" Tony jabs a finger towards the Hulk. Whatever he says next is drowned out by a roar, as the Hulk leans forward and nearly deafens him.

It's one way to win an argument, Tony gives him that.

The problem is, Tony's going to keep coming when the Avengers assemble, and no matter how many times the Hulk lets Tony count his teeth he's not benching Iron Man.

The Hulk whuffs at him moments after the roar, then stands up and before Tony can say a thing he takes off leaping for the tower, using buildings as launching pads, heedless of the destruction he's causing.

They land in Stark Tower after a particularly impressive leap, and damn it, Tony has to replace that glass _again_.

The Hulk drops him in an unceremonious bundle. "Tin Man stop bleeding," he says, then sits on the floor and glares at Tony until he's made it to the elevator.

The elevator doors slide shut, and Tony closes his eyes. This could get messy, but it's not like he can stop being Iron Man just because the Hulk's feeling protective.

He'll just have to evade the Hulk's grasp the next time he's in action. Simple.

\--

There's a whoop over the comms as the monster du jour collapses in a mess of its own flesh and juices. Tony echoes it, circling the prone form, grinning ear to ear from within the armor. He's got goop to clean off the armor, but who cares! The thing almost bested them, up until it made the mistake of trying to swallow the Hulk.

Tony circles again, rising higher, looking for the Hulk in the mess. He's not looking forward to a conversation this time, and the only way to be certain it won't happen is to avoid the Hulk until he's calmed down.

It'd be nice to carry Bruce home instead of the other way around, he thinks right before he's yanked from the sky.

"Hulk catch!"

Tony struggles in the Hulk's hold, then gives it up a moment later. If he struggles the Hulk holds him tighter, and if the Hulk holds him tighter the armor pops.

"Here we go again..." Tony mutters as the Hulk bounds away, finding the nearest mound of rubble for them to sit in. All Tony can think is that it's a good thing the rest of the team is out there to handle clean-up, because he's going to be occupied for the next ten minutes at least.

"If Hulk - if you'll notice, I'm nicely intact today," Tony says as the Hulk makes himself comfortable. "Barely a bruise in sight."

"Tin Man still stupid," Hulk says, dropping him on the ground. "Don't fly. Hulk catch again." There's a grin with the last words, and Tony just puts his hands up in surrender.

"Well, let me have it," he says. "Going to roar at me again?"

"Hulk _always_ angry," Hulk tells him. "Tin Man always stupid. Tin Man not Hulk!"

"Which means I'm fragile, prone to breaking, and should stay home. Right?"

The Hulk nods, baring his teeth. "Tin Man puny!"

"And you're a broken record. I can't stop coming out here to fight, Hulk. The team needs me."

"Hulk always here. Hulk _better_."

"Hulk can't fly," Tony says, and has to do a quick jump into the air, out of the way of Hulk's sweeping hand. The snarl is a mean one, and for a few minutes Tony doesn't get out of there, instead evading the Hulk's attempts to grab him. It's good practice, but it goes on for too long: the Hulk's snarls turn into a drawn-out roar of frustration, and the next thing Tony knows, he's been plucked from the sky.

Right, he thinks as the Hulk holds him far too close to his face. Don't anger the Hulk. Wear him out instead.

"Hulk catch," the Hulk informs him.

"Right," Tony says. "Anyways, about getting me to stay home. What about the rest of the team? They're pretty puny, too."

He should have said it sooner: the Hulk blinks at him, big green eyes showing confusion, as if he hadn't even thought of it.

"Everyone's puny when compared to you," Tony says after a long pause.

The Hulk nods, but even as he does he begins to collapse into himself, anger dissipating. Tony's dropped as the Hulk shrinks down into Bruce, and then it's Tony moving in to help Bruce up.

He's never seen the monster transition back into the man so smoothly before.

Bruce blinks owlishly up at him, looking worn out. "Tony...?"

"Fight's over, we won," Tony says, opening up the face-plate. He can't help a grin, proud of how thoroughly he'd taken the wind out of the Hulk's sails. "Bruce, you are such a sight for sore eyes."

Bruce looks down at himself - he's a mess, half-naked in ruined pants and smeared with goop, and even so Tony's still grinning when he looks back.

"Are we looking at the same thing?" Bruce asks.

"I'm looking at a hot scientist. What are you looking at?"

Bruce reaches down and pinches the goop, fingers coming away with a string of the slimey stuff sliding off his skin. "Tony, _what_ is this?"

"Proof of victory, what else? I'll show you what it came from if you'll hitch a ride."

Bruce hesitates, then nods, and Tony carries him bridal style into the air, extra-careful not to drop him.

"What did you tell the Hulk?" Bruce asks as they begin to coast towards the corpse of the _Thing_ that almost ate Manhattan.

"Nothing much," Tony says. "Just took the wind out of his sails. I might even get away with a few bruises next time," he says, giving Bruce another cheery grin. He'd lower the face-plate, but they're flying slowly and he's looking at Bruce, an idea turning over in his mind.

"I don't think so," Bruce says, and from the ways his eyes slide away from Tony...well, Tony might have the right idea. "He gets angrier when you're hurt."

"You know what, Bruce?"

"What?"

"It's _adorable_ that he cares about me."

"...The Hulk. Adorable."

"Adorable," Tony confirms. "Just like you."

From the way Bruce turns red and looks as if Tony's talking Klingon, Tony counts that as a victory, too.

He leans in and kisses Bruce without further preamble, not as deeply as he'd like but just fine. Bruce doesn't even look like he wants to push Tony away, in fact he just blushes deeper, mouth working but nothing coming out.

"Adorable," Tony repeats, and this time Bruce huffs a laugh at him, leaning a little closer to the armor.

\--

Hulk plucks him from the sky as easy as plucking grass, and Tony just lets him prod him all over and sniff and finally decide that Tin Man isn't broken.

"Told you," he says, and slides the face plate up to bare his teeth at the Hulk in something that's more than a grin.

The Hulk rumbles at him and looks annoyed, but maybe there's a little bit of Hulk-flavored fondness in the expression.

"Tin Man still stupid," he declares, getting up with Tony in his hands. "Hulk take home."


End file.
